I’m convinced we’re never fully ready to love, lead and steward our little people which is kind of a scary thought! Of course it’s nothing a good parenting book, glass of wine, friend, laugh and prayer can’t fix. Yet, every time I think I have things figured out, we enter a new phase of parenting. You too? I’ve found this only leaves me with a couple choices. 1. Stay set in my ways and get caught up in power struggles with my babes, or 2. Meet my kids right where they’re at and grow, learn and do better right alongside them. Sometimes it takes me awhile to catch on to what the real issue is on a parenting dilemma, but hope with all my heart that I will always choose to do number 2, eventually :). Comfort zones are so overrated.
Luckily (HA!) Tilly Jane (our 9 y.o.) always wears her heart on her sleeve so I never have to guess how I’m doing as a mom or what side of the parenting spectrum I fall on. From the second she was born a girl (I was expecting a 3rd boy) she has kept me on my toes while challenging my priorities and approach to life in general. As a toddler she was a wanderer and could disappear in a nano-second, said everything that came into her cute little head (still does), had zero fear of strangers, heights, or consequences, would lovingly tackle and wrestle people during any kind of organized event (like story time at the library), and has been fiercely independent since the day she could walk.
TILLY’S OUTFIT DETAILS | denim jacket (tucker + tate from nordstrom), joggers (Athleta), fruit tee (from J. Crew), sandals (from Target), hair clip (from ryan and wren)
I always seem to be working on something when it comes to our relationship and lately, I’m embarrassed to say, her wardrobe has been a big issue (because it really shouldn’t be). But, I think I’ve finally learned a few lesson(s) and thought I would share in case you guys have a little or big kid that is picky (with a capital P) about clothes!
10 PARENTING + STYLE LESSONS TILLY HAS TAUGHT ME
- If you can’t play in it, don’t wear it.
- Wear what you like even if what you like is in your big brother’s closet. (Her current favorite place to pick out an outfit… She loves her brother SOOO much!)
- Shoes, jackets and accessories make all the difference when toning down or tszujing up an outfit, flower girl dress or batman costume. (HA!)
- To think outside the box, store or department… (she’s been picking lots of things from the boy section of stores, like her blue sandals from Target, and I think it looks so cute!)
- Picking outfits out the night (or even week) before is always a good idea!
- Personal styles and trends come and go but confidence and self love is always “in”.
- My approval and appreciation is far more important than my input.
- How to be more present in the moment and less concerned with keeping things tidy (i.e. an outfit, the house, emotions, failures, etc.)
- No one else really cares what my kids are wearing — unless they think it’s cute, LOL.
- The world doesn’t need perfect, well-dressed kids. It needs mindful, empathetic, and unique kids that are positioned for g-r-e-a-t-n-e-s-s.
ILY Tilly Jane!
Do you guys have wardrobe struggles with your kids?
Also, working on a style Q&A series so if you have any questions, ask away in the comments!
xo, Rae
papa
So Amazed and in Awe of your heart Rae.
You are one of a kind.
I wish you had been my mom!!!
Love you with all my heart,
dad
Catherine
There are so many good reminders here. Thank you so much for writing this piece!
Vedette
Such a lovely and honest article Rae. I love your mindset. Or should I say mind-flow… xo
Victoria Hopper
Well said!
Traci
Yes to #10! Especially in our world of taking photographs of pretty things all the time, it’s so important to teach our kiddos that what’s beyond the pretty picture matters most.