So, I’ve pulled myself together enough to write out this post but only to the extent that I’ve allowed myself to eat my feelings, lol… pretty sure if anyone is gaining the freshman 15 this fall, it will be me.
Anyways, Ozzie’s been at school for the last week but yesterday was his first official day of classes at WSU. While I wasn’t there to make him pancakes or take a first day pic (although his sweet gf did send me one — I’m a lucky mama), I do have this little video we put together from our weekend dropping him off. So if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to drop your oldest child off at college, PRESS PLAY! Oh, and I should apologize in advance, things do get a little crazy and unplugged on the car ride, partly because we were exhausted and partly because the little kids weren’t with us (they stayed behind with their auntie and uncle). But all in the name of good fun and potty talk (which kids apparently never grow out of)… you’ll see what I mean in a sec!
When your child’s singing questionable song lyrics and your hoping he doesn’t know what he’s saying (omg!). Thankful for innocence and comic relief and Johan for asking the tough questions! Ha!
For those that don’t know our story, I got pregnant with Ozzie while attending WSU and was lucky to have enough support that I stayed in school… as in, took a health exam one hour after leaving the hospital, leaky boobs and all. And for the 7 months that followed Oz attended every single class with me.
Fast forward a few years, after moving home for a year, going through a divorce, going back to school, figuring out daycare and a J-O-B, meeting Johan, “dating” Johan (what even is dating as a single parent!?), graduating, finding a full-time job, getting married, Johan starting grad school, adding Espen to the fam and then eventually moving over to the west side of the state — dropping Ozzie off at WSU was a FULL! CIRCLE! MOMENT!
The coolest thing about dropping him off at school though is that we prayed for it — not necessarily that he would attend WSU, but that he would have the direction, confidence and ambition to follow his heart and dreams. And after years of favor, grace and hard work on our end and Ozzie’s, it happened. And it’s better than I could have imagined and yet it’s uncomfortable and unknown and just a lot. Yet, I would never change it. Feel like the luckiest human to feel so much and love so big.
A few more pics while we moved him in!
I’ve spent the last (almost) 19 years staring at his face daily. Memorizing his frame and voice and sounds and mannerisms. And it’s weird that it’s not part of my day anymore. I hear the garage door open and think, “Yay! Ozzie’s home!” or walk into his room (where his loving brother Espen has taken over) and expect to see him sitting on the bed. Change is hard. A week in and I’m still tearing up and counting down the days until we see him (in september!). Thank God for phones and FaceTime and DM’s and texting. It definitely lightens the blow… I don’t know how our parents did it!
xo, Rae
Rae, this post gave me all the feels. I have such a close relationship with my son, Ian. It’s a bit like yours with Ozzie. I realized that I took for granted too much over the years. I was thinking I’d always have my Ian at home, in his room, gaming and laughing with his friends online. He was my side kick and anytime I didn’t want to go somewhere alone, Ian went with me. Now he’s in college and works all the time and is gone a lot. When I go in his room and see the bed made and things put away and the computer dark I start to cry. (I’m crying now typing this.) I miss my boy. Like you, I am excited about this next chapter in his life but man, is it so hard!!! I pray you will find your new normal soon and that Ozzie will find his and life will continue with the changes that always follow. Much love and happiness to you and all your crew!
awww, Karen! I love this! Thanks for sharing… and for the prayers. xoxo, Rae
Thanks for sharing your story, Rae. Like yours, my road hasn’t been easy and I’ve had plenty of struggles along the way but these sweet moments make everything worth it! I am a few years away from college for my kids, but it’ll be here before I know it. I appreciate your vulnerability and openness. I have a blended family myself. I’m curious, does Ozzie have a relationship with his biological father? That part is the trickiest for us. Just curious how you balance that.
BTW, you can totally tell me to mind my own business if I’m getting too personal! I won’t be offended since we’re not friends in real life! Haha.
Hey Katie, he knows his dad and they chat over the phone but don’t see each other very often. don’t usually say too much about it on the blog since it’s personal to ozzie, but if you want to chat more over email that works! blended families are such a blessing but can also be complicated :) xoxo (my email: rae at raeannkelly dot com)
To say I LOVE this post is a huge understatement! I cried and laughed and cried and laughed some more and so so so enjoyed the special moments that you shared with all of us. What a great story and God is using your story. Best of luck to Ozzie in college – can’t wait to hear the updates! And best of luck to you and your family as you learn your new normal without him around daily. Can’t wait to see the post of when you all reunit in September! xoxox
I love this all so, so much. My son will be 10 this year and I feel like I’m staring into our future and a wreck thinking about what it will be like when the time comes for him to move to college. What a special family you have cultivated – thank you for sharing this moment with us!!