It’s one thing to have a serious conversation with someone in person on topics as heavy as school shootings, and another to just put my thoughts and ideas out there in writing and with it the responsibility and consequences (good or bad) of my words. To be honest, I’m a little nervous about sharing my thoughts, however I just can’t shake the urge to write and share and hopefully do something positive about what’s happening in our country regarding our kids and gun control.
Political positions aside, one thing I HOPE we can agree on is that what happened in Florida (and other schools) was awful and gut wrenching, and it should never have happen. Ever.
In my opinion, we have a problem with guns in this country but I also don’t think taking away guns would take away gun violence completely. So let’s save that convo for a different time and look at things from a different point of view because there’s another common thread between mass shootings. The gunman’s are boys. BOYS!!!?
As a mama of 3 of the sweetest boys, I hate this fact. However, it also gives me so much hope and here’s why… changing gun laws seems simple enough but in reality is incredibly complex (and frustrating to watch) and there is very little we can do about it on a daily basis. Changing our culture to invest and support boyhood however, seems complicated but is in fact really simple because it starts with us, our neighbors, our schools and our community and we can make a difference every single day.
That’s good news, right?! A few other things I’m believing and clinging to…
- That being quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger would change everything when dealing with conflict and challenges, but especially our effectiveness. (You guys have to listen to this message! It’s so good and highly entertaining too.)
- That gun law reform is crucial and will happen eventually (I mean, why can an 18 year old buy a gun?).
- That we are creative and resourceful enough to start a movement for the boys of this country that empowers, encourages and provides value, connection and a strong identity.
- That we can influence our culture. (If hip, hop can do it, so can we ;)
- That prayer is powerful, especially when it leads to action.
On a personal note, we’ve already had some gun related scares at Ozzie’s high school this year and next year Espen will be headed to Middle School. I’m unsure of the best way to contribute to the solution but I’m also not willing to wait for gun laws to change to do anything about the problem.
I know this is kinda heavy compared to my usually lighthearted content, and trust me that is way more in my comfort zone, but if you guys have any good resources or ideas on the topic, please share!!! There is strength in numbers and doing things together!
XO, Rae
PS — Another great (must read) article on the subject of boys is HERE!
Good for you to use your platform to promote a very difficult conversation. Our country clearly has a problem. It is a false narrative that we either have to choose between no gun restrictions what-so-ever or no guns at all. A small minority of people on the fringe want us to believe that all of us in the middle can’t come together and do what’s right for our families and our country. We are being sold a bag of goods. Kudos to you and every single mother, father, daughter or son who says, “Enough.”
Preet Bharara recently interviewed Shannon Watts from Moms Demand Action on his excellent podcast “Stay Tuned with Preet” – I highly recommend the interview and the podcast.
I desperately want to know how to help and these are great starting points. I have 2 sons, 16 and 15. I am constantly making sure they know I’m available to them no matter what. It breaks my heart to hear moms cut little boys off and break them down with their tone and choice of words. These little ones will grow up and interact with women that don’t deserve the impact their moms had on them that broke their spirit. I am changing a generation right in my home. It’s not perfect but it is noticeable and there’s so much more work to be done. I don’t have a public platform so I commend you for starting this conversation. I’d love to be part of a greater movement that doesn’t require me to be at the forefront of a “march” (just an example) because I believe many changes happened because of people like me, the hidden ones, and I can’t wait to see what creative way you propose that and challenge us all to do as well.
I have to agree that the discussion must and needs to start at home. I have only one son, age 19, and in college now. There have been no gun scares in his years of school. My daughter is 31 on Monday and the same for her. We live in the south where you can find plenty of guns and hunting is an avid sport. I have family who own guns, my own father owned several when I was growing up in rural Indiana – all for hunting. I’ve been around guns my whole life but yet have no desire to handle one myself. Gun safety and gun safety courses are taught all around my area. Education on guns and gun safety – especially in homes with children should be required, by law, to own a handgun, rifle, etc. in my opinion. If any part of the law should change, I think that would be a step in the right direction.
I really enjoyed reading this, Rae.
I was just listening to a podcast based on the Enneagram. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with it, but if not, I recommend the book called, “The Road Back to You.” Anyway, One of the authors has a podcast called, “The Enneagram Journey.” In episode 16 she interviews her guest & she talks about how men have to realize how to be men in a way that is not Dominating. It’s a fascinating conversation & one that I think you may enjoy! God Bless!
Such a gut-wrenching topic. Who can have all the answers? A couple of observations, though:
1. Before we put more laws in place, we should enforce the ones we HAVE! The gunman who killed 26 people in a Texas church last fall would not even have qualified to purchase guns if the military had followed its own rules. The young man in Florida clearly should have had intervention months ago – and would have, had local authorities and the school follow the rules in place.
Worth noting — in Texas, the rampage was interrupted by a civilian with a gun, a neighbor to the church, who dared challenge the shooter.
2. That age 18 limit – – I suspect it has its roots in the same reasoning that lowered the voting age to 18 back in 1971. And that logic was, it is unfair to ask a young man to fight for his country when you will not let him vote in his country. That has led to age 18 being applied as legal adulthood. it is very difficult to put a genie back into its bottle. Personally, I think we need to consider raising the driving age, too.
Brad and I have had LOTS of convos about boyhood and instilling manhood since we now have a boy and work with teens. I can not recommend enough the the podcast The Liberation Project. It’s soooo good. Touches on all relationships but particularly on what it means to have authentic manhood!